


A Broken Child

by Kearsli



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Asano may have Athazagoraphobia, Asano needs help, Child Abuse, Comforting, Could Be Added Characters, Could continue this?, Crying, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Fear, Help Asano, Hurt, I need help, I'm a bad person., M/M, More characters to be added, Panic, Panic Attacks, Pills, Rape, Self-Hatred, Tags May Change, Tags may be added, au - ish, breakdown - Freeform, im sorry for writing this, ive literally just thrown a bunch of tags in here because why not, many feelings, some other stuff i can add later, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-27 17:18:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6293089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kearsli/pseuds/Kearsli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody knows that much about Asano. All they know is that he is the fortunate son of the man who owns one of the most best, successful Schools in the entire Country.<br/>Everybody thinks that Asano's life is perfect, he is the perfect child with a perfect father, in a flawless life.</p><p>Nobody really knows what happens behind closed doors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Behind Closed Doors

**Author's Note:**

> I am a terrible, awful person, punish me as you must.
> 
> If anybody has read my another Fanfic which I am currently working on 'Strange Relationships' which is a Karma x Gukushuu/Asano Fanficiton, you'd still not know that I was thinking on doing another Fanfiction at the same time as Stange Relationships.
> 
> I may make this Fanfiction a one-shot thing in Asano's life and what happens to him if he does anything wrong/in an AU where many terrible things happen to him behind closed doors..
> 
> But I also might ditch this Fanfiction if you'd all just enjoy me mainly working on Strange Relationships.  
> If I don't ditch this and I carry it on like SR, It will still be my pain Fanfiction to work on and will definitely not be worked on with new Chapters because I have another Fanfiction whilst It's up and running.
> 
> I don't know what to think, let me know what you guys think of this and I dunno, maybe I could continue this if I have the time?
> 
> Poor Asano..  
> Please enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asano seems to have the perfect life. A beautiful house, a wonderful Father and an entire life of luxury, being the son of the Chairman of one of the most succesful and high-ranking School's in the entire country.  
> There's nothing wrong with his life or what he does with it- except from the fact that he couldn't do anything with it. He couldn't change it, no he didn't have the permission to do that.
> 
> Everyday would pass by to be the same old same old..
> 
> Behind closed doors, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the worst person ever, forgive me, I'm gomen.
> 
> I don't really know why I wrote this, I currently have another Fanfiction going on right now and nyeh.  
> This could be like a one page thing, I don't know. I'm currently still working on Chapter 6 of my main Fanfiction 'Strange Relationships' with Asano x Gukushuu.
> 
> I don't really know whether to continue this or not, because I got a feeling it's going to be pretty dark if I do...
> 
> I'm not stopping my other Fanfiction just because of this one, though!  
> Strange Relationships is still my main Fanfiction and updates will not stop coming because of another Fanfiction that I'm currently doing.
> 
> I don't know, should I continue this or what?
> 
> Hope you enioy!  
> Please let me know what you think of this in the comments and whever I should continue this or not!
> 
> Thank you!~

Asano is a boy of many talents. He can play guitar, sing like an angel, he has perfect grades and he is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful boys in the School, girls were constantly fawning and swooning over his fantastic looks, his smooth voice and  _'perfect'_ personality. 

He can cope with many things. He can cope with hate, with jealousy and many over things more.

But what he can't cope with is the people he loves betraying him, mixed feelings and emotions, abuse and weapons, failure, fear, bowing down to others, lies, crushed hopes and dreams, loss of loved ones..

And most of all- his Father.

A strong man, quite emotionless but sly and sneaky. He's brilliant at knowing what's happening, he can push you past your limits, he can stop you and make you think in the middle of no where. He's handsome, a trait his son pulled from him. He is powerful and strong, he can pull through anything and everything. He can cause mass-panic and fear upon anybody and everybody with a single, sharp glance with a deadly look in his eyes. He is very willing to turn his own son into a mind-slave to destroy E-Class in both test, mentally, physically and emotionally. He desires perfection, no matter what. Everything has to be perfect, everyone has to be perfect. He has to always be ontop with anybody he's close to or loves. He rarely displays any emotion except from cruelty. He can control people to do anything and everything he wants. He is hardly a Father.

He abuses the people. _He abuses his Son._ Physically, emotionally and above all, mentally.

And there's nothing no one could ever do about it if they knew.

 

* * *

 

 

 Asano lay on his bed, sniffling quietly to himself as he hiccuped as tears trickled down his cheeks and onto the mattress. His entire body felt numb, he couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He felt as if his entire body was stiff, and the walls, everything, was slowly coming together to form a cube as the floor rose, the walls come in closer and closer towards him and the roof kept coming lower and lower to the bed.

His mind was swimming with thoughts of many different things as he tried to pull himself together, which only resulted in more tears and pain.

His neck hurt the most, he rubbed it as he weakly sat up. Still hiccuping from the tearing that had continued on for at least twenty whole minutes or more. He looked around his room drowsily, trying to rise onto his legs as they shook like rattlesnakes, he stared teary eyed at the floor before deciding to sit down again. The pain was unbearable.

He was sick of being used by people. He didn't want this anymore. He couldn't cope with anymore weight on his shoulders any longer.

Things pile on-top of each other, the weight just dragged on more and more.

The grades.

The pain.

The abuse.

His _Father._

This had never happened before. Now, anything is an excuse for his Father to hit him, smack him, mentally torture him until he's one hundred percent sure that's he's useless to the World. That nobody would ever truly love him.

Nobody would ever save him from this hell.

He tried to sooth the harsh, red, purple and blue tinted bite marks scattered and covering his sensitive throat as he tried to calm himself down, push his feelings back.

_'Don't be weak, Asano. People still have things harder than you do. You're a burden to the world. No matter whatever you do, you won't be perfect enough for him. You're useless. Pathetic.'_

The quiet whispers and voices carried on replaying and replaying in his mind as he tried not to succumb to them again.

He has to be on top with every subject, always. He has to have the perfect attitude, posture, smile and grin whenever needed. He must do as he's told. He must keep his grades up, one question wrong and that could be the end of him. No messing around. _You're not allowed real friends._ You can't have fun, ever. You must always listen to your Father, he's alright right, never wrong. When he says something, you do it. If you do not obey him, there can be consequences to your actions no matter what. You must listen to each and every class with your ears open, don't daydream. He will know.

He's always watching.

_Nothing can ever get past him._

_Nothing can ever beat him._

That's why he's not going to dare, ever to stand up to him. He wants to save himself from this hell, he want's to run away and never come back.

But he can't. His body is numb, everywhere it's just pain. His mind is full of thoughts of misery, agony, pain, fear, his only _'true'_ friends are the onces inside his head whenever he slips up or does anything wrong.

He must always win against E-Class. Why? If not, that would be another beating. Day after day as they drag on, some slower than others. It's sometimes a relief to go to School for him, because Asano knows it's safe there.

Or is it?

What he needs to worry about now most though, is how frequently this is going to happen. This time, his father tuck it too far as Asano touched some wounds which started to bleed from that much incredible pain, his hands and legs were quivering as he pathetically limped towards the bathroom, where he would lock himself away to try and patch himself up.

He washed his face with the tap water and stared down at his feet.

_Weak._

He turned the tap off and shook his head, then turned towards the shower and scrubbed himself with soap, getting rid of any hint of smell which seemed out of the ordinary. He continued washing for a long time, taking proper care of his wounds as he gently rubbed them with soap to try and tend and sooth the redness for a second or two.

It didn't work.

He gently stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel neatly around his waist, still sniffling quietly to himself as he shuffled towards a cabinet and reached for some pills to stop the thoughts, stop the pain and just relax for a little while. He gently put the first set of pills into his hands, put them in his mouth and swallowed them down with water as fast as he could so he could move onto the other pills if he desperately needed them.

He gently started rubbing cream, anything and everything he could find to stop the hues of red, blue and purple from appearing on his neck and shoulders. He stared at himself in the mirror for a brief second and stared at his reflection.

_Useless._

He started preening himself up as much as he could, drying his hair and brushing it for what seemed like hours. He checked himself- or rather his wounds- in the mirror for at least ten whole minutes before deciding to look back at them in the morning and see if they died down.

Thoughts started slowly coming back to his head, as he shook them off and reached for some sleeping pills in the cabinet before downing them down to accompany the rest of the pills.

He slipped on some clothes shakily in his room before feeling drowsy, and tucked himself into his bed.

Trying to find any comfort whatsoever from the never ending battle of decisions, fear and hard life as it seemed to get worse and worse every passing moment of everyday.

He gently closed his eyes as a few lone tears began to trickle down his face onto the soft pillow below him once more.

_And there was nothing he could do about it._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry Asano.
> 
> <3


	2. Locked Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too many brick walls are blocking Asano from what he want's to be doing with his life. Too any walls keeping him locked in his own cage in which he must obey orders from whoever.  
> There's too many things going on his life and in his past which he realized has knocked him down so far, changed him as a person and the reality hits him like a truck.  
> He want's to feel and experience to many things. But he can't because of things piling on top of each other continuously until he breaks.
> 
> It will never change.
> 
> His life will never change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long with this one! I started it a week ago and gradually started continuing it, but I decided to complete my main Fanfiction's Chapter instead of this one.  
> But I finally got round to completing it!
> 
> A few people wanted this to continue, so I decided to add another Chapter and y'know- continue it.
> 
> Hope you like! <3

His eyes fluttered open lightly, adjusting to the light while flittered through his bedroom. He huffed softly and sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. His bed was _clinging_ onto him. But he couldn't sleep for longer. I couldn't just lay there and try and wish away the reality of life again. No, not today.

Not again.

He swung his legs away from his comfortable bed over the side and warily stood up, nearly toppling over from the slight lack of sleep. He stretched out his limbs and yawned, rubbing the back of his neck till he reached something which hurt.

_Oh._

He shook his head and grunted quietly, sauntering out of the room quickly before going to the bathroom. He walked towards the mirror, forcing himself to look at the smaller red tinted mark. There were others littered across his neck and shoulders which were better, and worse. But still. What could he say if somebody said anything about the bitemarks and 'hickeys' on his neck? What could he say to that?

 _What could I say?_ He thought.

The single thought caused a lump in his throat as he began to whimper softly despite trying to stay strong. He couldn't particularly hide that, could he?

Could he bring his collar up a bit? That would possibly try and hide a few of them but not all. What use would that do? Damn it. _Damn it._ He muttered softly to himself as he lowered his head down to think.

 _"A scarf, maybe? What other option was there but that?"_ He spoke quietly to himself in the background, there was a soft but amused chuckle as his Father stepped into the room.

Tension built, Asano gulped and paused, clenching his fists for a brief second as his mind and body came to a halt. His entire body tensed up the second he took a step into the room, closer to him. _Closer._

Asano kept his head down, avoiding eye-contact as much as possibly whilst it seemed like his entire world stopped. Nothing moved, nothing happened. He could feel his Father's eyes bury into the back of his head, then slowly move their way down towards his neck where the red, blue and purple bites and nibbles were. He twitched, once as he felt his Father's gaze stay on him. Silence filled the room as he bit his lower lip lightly, wishing, praying for him to say something. _Say something._

 Asano but his lower lip, it practically felt like it was bleeding. He shivered and trembled, taking shallow breaths as he felt his presence near slowly towards him.

_Please leave me alone. Go away. Please, leave me alone._

He felt a light breath on his neck, but that must of been his imagination as his Father was still in in the doorway, staring. Finally. He spoke.

"Come down when you're ready, Asano."

And with that, he left. Asano felt like he was going to burst into tears the second he left the doorway. He shouldn't be scared of his Father, nobody should be scared of their parents. It wasn't right. _It wasn't right._

It wasn't right that the fact that hardly ever, _ever,_ he called his son by his first name like a real Father would. He wanted that so much- he wanted to feel a warming father hug like he used to when he was younger about four of five, then one day, it all changed and his Father wasn't as fatherly as he used to be.

He wanted that back again.

Now, everytime he is supposed to come up to the office in School his heart would beat faster, his pulse would raise and he would start to shake or tremble. It was so hard to fight the feeling of fear whenever he saw him. He was surprised his friends haven't suspected anything yet.

_Or have they?_

Too many questions, he couldn't deal with it anymore. So many thoughts currently running through his mind and he couldn't stop them no matter what happened. Too many things were happening all at once and he couldn't deal with all of it anymore.

He wished and wanted to many things. But there were so many brick walls in his life that he couldn't get past, and he felt like that wasn't going to change anytime soon, and each and every brick wall in his life would just get bigger and bigger and bigger as time went on.

He couldn't get past one wall, and if he did, he would just create another one.

And that would continue on until he finally snapped.

He wanted to get over so many facts that his Mother was never coming back, and he wanted to get over the fact that his Father would never stop continue doing what he's doing to him, constantly torturing his only poor Son, using his as a puppet as he pleased and then not talking to him for days and days on end- and when he did, it was brief and quick and had no meaning to it.

He was jealous of anybody who received love from their Father, and talked to them as they loved them and nurtured them like an actual Father would do to their child.

But his Father wasn't anybody, he was a dangerous man and he knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing to his son.

_And he didn't care._

He never cares, he never cares for anything or anyone. He didn't know what to think of his Father anymore.

He was gruel and heartless, and anybody could see that. They probably wouldn't think that he would hurt his child in a daily basis, physically, mentally and emotionally. He didn't care either and he never would.

All he cared about making his son strong, he didn't care about all of the other things such as kindness or generosity- all he's interested in was a strong son as ironic as it is. He must have cared about his son in one part in his life of course, but he doesn't anymore.

_Why?_

_Did he do something wrong?  
_

Tears were streaming down his face before he could stop them, a weak sob escaped his lips as he slowly impaled on himself, his body rattling as he whimpered and winced. He felt like his entire world was slowly but surely crashing down on him each passing day, and he was trying to prevent it from happening so much, but he couldn't. The walls weren't crumbling after time, but only growing stronger, the He wanted somebody to save him, he wanted somebody to love him and hug him. He wanted goodnight kisses from his Mother, no matter how childish it sounded. He craved it.

But he didn't just want anybody to love. He wanted a special person-- a special somebody.

And of course, he probably wasn't aloud to have a special somebody.

Many girls liked him in A-Class because of his dashing good-looks though, and whenever he would just walk past them in a hall they would practically _fawn_ over him.

 _Oh yeah, sexuality. Might as well add that to the constant problems I can't get rid of in my life._ He thought to himself, forcing out a weak chuckle before trying to regain his posture.

He gently touched his neck, sighing quietly to himself.

_Then there's trying to hide all of this from people. That adds to the list, too._

He lowered his head and tried to move his thoughts away. He wanted to go downstairs, but he didn't. One way or another, he was going to have to go to School today, with a scarf, hiding the marks or not.

He slipped quietly back into his room and got dressed.

However, he made sure to but his collar up a bit higher than usual.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He was sure to leave the house quickly as he headed straight towards the family vehicle. He didn't care about his Father now, and if he wanted to take a car. He just wanted to have some alone time to think.

But of course, his Father caught up to him rather quickly as he left the house.

"Asano, why are you leaving so early? This is unlike you." He chuckled out lightly.

He was silent. He looked frozen, he was absolutely stiff. It was like what happened in the Bathroom minutes ago- he couldn't say anything or _do_ anything. Finally, he managed to squeak out a reply.

"I-I just want to get to School earlier today, that's a-all. Could I take the car halfway?" He managed to complete his sentence without turning into a frightened stuttering mess because of him. He waited for a response.

".. If you'd like." He shrugged in response, tilting his head slightly to the side as he approached the car himself.

Asano bit his lower lip as he moved up two seats for his Father to sit down, he turned his attention quickly to the window as he felt him move closer towards the car. He glared outside the window at nothing, he just didn't want to look at him. He didn't want to show how weak he was to him.

A small voice echoed in his mind.

_Weak._

He shook it off as his mind wandered elsewhere from his Father staring at his collar, somewhat _smug_ from what he could see at the very corner of his eye. He began contemplating to himself once more as he tried not to feel uncomfortable as he was as the car started up and the butler began a lovely pace down the road from their rather grand house. He ignored everything that was happened around him and continued the inner conversation which he began earlier in the day..

He just wanted somebody to talk to- to express his feelings too when he needed to. Somebody to lean on whenever he was feeling down.

But apparently, he couldn't have that.

He was seen as rude and cruel, but also sick and manipulative to a lot of people, by mostly or all of E-Class pupils. But he wasn't truly like that- he rarely smiles because he can't. He rarely opens his feelings to be people because he couldn't.

He's locked away to his own little world, and that world consists of him, studying and his Father only.

Of course he had friends, the other people from the top five seemed to be rather close to him. But still, he couldn't particularly lean on them and tell them what's going on in his house now could he?

 _Why can't you tell the Police?_  

He stiffened up at the mention of the word 'Police' made him gulp. He couldn't do that to his one and only Father in the entire world- no son would be that cruel to do that to their lone parent who provided for the _'family'_ of two.

_What would he do without him?_

But then again, what would he do _with him?_

A voice broke him from his thoughts, he paused once again from the familiar voice.

"So Asano, where would you like to be dropped off, or would you just prefer to go the entire way to School?" His Father questioned.

He was again frozen, blood turned cold and mind stopping. World collapsing all around him. _He shouldn't be like this every time his Father talked to him- this wasn't normal, this wasn't right._

All he could do was meekly shrug in response and murmur. "I don't know.." He finally managed to glance over to his Father who chuckled under his breath.

"Alright.. Make up your mind soon." He practically smirked out, obviously knowing how _afraid_ he had made his poor son.

_And again, the car settled to silence._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this one ended a bit awkwardly, or is that just me?
> 
> Poor little angel.


	3. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOOOLLYY MOLEY.   
> It's been a while since I've updated this! Jeez, I should've been faster. Sorry for the annoyingly long wait, sorry sorry sorrry.. ;;   
> I'll try to update this more and faster. I just didn't really have the energy to update this whilst my other bigger fanfiction was going on. <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy this Chapter- even though it's heartbreaking.~

I stared out of the window, trying to focus on anything which went across my eye site as I began to grow paler by the second, and a strange bile feeling began to build up at the back of my throat. I tried to gulp it away, but it didn't work. It just got worse and worse. I felt like I was going to be sick, and nothing could make this morning worse than being sick in your father's vehicle, drown by posh old guy.

I could hardly create the words to speak, so I let out a quiet squeak before even attempting to form an entire sentence.

"E-excuse me, p-please can you stop here? I'm feeling a bit s-sickly." I could help stuttering, hanging my head down as I waiting for the car to slow down.

I slowly reached for the handle as the car began slowly down towards a side walk and I wearily reached towards the handle and opening the door window, not bearing a glance towards my father.

_I didn't want to know what expression he had on his face right now._

Hardly able to stand up on my feet, as the car began driving away without a second thought. I staggered towards a tree and gripping my hair with my hands, growling to himself as I winced under my breath.

_Get a grip of yourself._

_Don't be so god damn weak._

_Stop being so fucking scared._

_Stop.._

_Stop...._

_Stop......_

The word dug into my mind, clawing and tearing away at anything it could find, as memories began flooding into my mind and swarmed my entire body, making me shudder all over and en swarm my body with negativity, creating a feeling of  _uselessness,_ as I closed my eyes and begged for the aching feeling to go away, but it just _worsened and worsened and worsened.._

I was so frightened, I didn't even realise the footsteps moving towards me until I felt somebody tap my shoulder.

I whipped my head around, and I was unfortunately met with the strong, mercury eyes of the red-headed delinquent, Akabane.

 

 

* * *

 

 I stared at what was before me. 

_The Chairman's son, before me, leaning against a tree looking like he's having a mental breakdown, fear clouding his eyes from their natural determined shine, leaving the most dull look ever. It looked like they no longer shined bright amethyst, but had become a sullen, grey lilac colour, given up on all things in his mind and hope and dreams-.._

_Something that I could too easily describe._

I was going to come over and confront him, maybe tease him about why he just got out the car-..

_But no._

I have second choices now- shit, _fuck_ , what should I do? 

He looks  _petrified-_ like I've just told him I've committed a murder. And steadily, I reached my hand out with caution, gulping every centimetre as it inched closer and closer to him by the second.

"U-uh.." I couldn't find my voice to speak. "Are you alright, A-Asano-kun?" I finally planted my hand on his shoulder. He flinched and stared directly into my eyes.forcing my to stare back. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, caught on spot.

My feet felt like they were locked onto the ground. 

"P-please.." He had such a quiet voice- so fucking gentle. It sounded so weak and fragile- it didn't sound like the proud, boasting boy that E-Class was used too, brimming with confidence. He sounded like a different person.

"S-stop touching me! _Please_ , stop it!" He cried out in desperation, whacking my hand off his shoulder, repeating words quietly under his breath as he began panicking.

".." I froze for a second, trying to take into account what he just said. 

_I know he hates me, but I'm just trying to help him out.. What the fuck has he been through?_

_"_ Asano-kun, calm down!" I spoke in a much firmer voice, my voice trying not to crack as the panicking boy began shaking and sweating, his legs looking like jelly as they began slowly falling, letting him fall against the floor onto his knees, weeping loudly as he began crying and  _sobbing_ weakly.

My heart began getting crushed to pieces. I had no fucking clue what to think or do- I gulped down my fear and crouched down to his level on the floor, biting my lip.

"Alright- calm down now.. I-It's alright.. Just caallllmmm down.." I was literally clueless on what to do. I felt like I was taming a wild fucking animal- damn, never make me comfort anybody. Ever.

I began running over the things to do in my head, until I came up with one solution.

One day off assasination isn't going to hurt anybody- I need answers off Asano-kun on what happened, and I need em now. Nobody's going to notice I'd be gone- it's only a day anyway.

I nodded and as I watched him slowly cry himself so much that he became dozey. I scooped him up and placed him over my shoulder, sighing under my breath. Christ, he's really light.

I began walking back home, thinking to myself.

 

_What actually happened to him, and why did he look so scared?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did i do this i feel terrible for doing this to him somebody shoot me down q u i c k ;


	4. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Karma brings Gakushuu to his house, they have a small confrontation.. and how much does Karma actually know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Damn, I don't believe I haven't updated this in such a long time! I apologise, even though you probably don't want to hear excuses..  
> I've actually been working on this chapter for quiet a while now? And finally I've finished the chapter, thank god. 
> 
> I had a tiny bit of trouble ending this one, honestly! Sorry if the ending seems kind of crappy compared to the rest of this chapter.
> 
> Anyway. I hope you enjoy!

 My eyes flutter open softly as I slowly began to become more familiar with my surroundings. I grunted quietly and blinked repeatedly, feeling a rather soft blanket cover my body before flickering my eyes around the room I was in.

_A house.._

_An unfamiliar one..._

_Where_ was _I last? Oh.. outside.. Who did I last see?_

_.. That stupid red-head delinquent.._

_Akbane.._

_Akabane!_

I bolted up as quickly as I could, panic and dread overflowing me as negative thoughts flooded by mind like a tsunami, making me want to cry out. 

My body felt so numb and stiff, and my mind was racing at a hundred mile per hour. My head began to feel dizzy, and I felt vomit rise up into my throat at the sight of Akabane finding me in such a broken-down, tortured state that I was in. _I didn't want anybody to see my like that_ \-- and he did. He saw me breaking down, crying and helpless-- leaning against a tree for my only support as I slowly began to curl up on myself towards the concrete on the ground as I sobbed myself into exhaustion, thinking of all the torture I've been going through _non-stop_ recently, making me finally have a break down at the side of _the public road._  -- he saw it all.

_He saw it all._

He's probably _laughing_ at me right now, thinking I'm pathetic, telling all his stupid friends in E-Class how much of a failure the Chairman's son was, how a little chip of this mask I was putting on was corroding because of my own father- who was supposed to love and nurture me since the moment I was born even through my entire life, who was supposed to love me unconditionally like any parent would to their child.

And he brought me up to deal with anything which was thrown at me, to make me strong for whatever reason he wants- to put me through so much despair and anger and misery and depression and self-hatred and so much other things-! For him to be the thing which was getting me down, dragging me down, making me feel worthless and _unworthy_ to be even on this miserable planet anymore- _it's so difficult to keep that mask up_ \- when I was breaking steadily inside, and everyday felt like a _chore_ to endure.

_I'm so weak. I should be stronger than this._

I let out a loud, shuddering breath and glanced around the room rapidly, a large shiver running down my spine. I suddenly became very aware of my surroundings- and where my eyes went first was the kitchen as I turned my head sideways as I heard a clatter, then a hushed curse.

_Then my eyes went towards Akabane._

He turned around quickly,  _probably to see if I was awake or not,_ then he smirked lightly, showing that stupid devious delinquent trademark of his- his mischievous smirk, which irritated Gakushuu to the bone.

"Eeh, you're awake, Princess?" He teased, only to smirk slightly wider. "You looked like you were never gonna wake up again." 

I snorted in annoyance- he acted like he didn't just see me collapse onto my knees, withering in on myself in the middle of the street.  _I guess that some people never change._

He then walked over briskly, and plonked himself onto the edge of the couch before turning to me and turning him head-  _looking exactly like a confused puppy would._

_There was a rather vast silence._

"So- I never thought I'd be saying this to you- but what's been goin' on in your life lately- I knew that your life is kinda fucked with the constantly studying crap, but I've got the feeling people don't just break out in the middle of the street because of pressure-"

"You don't know anything about my life." I growled under my breath. "You don't know how much pressure I have to endure- day in and day out, how much  _shit_ he puts me through. And I'm not explaining any further or deeper into my life, Akabane." 

There was a pause.

He sighed and ran his hand through his blazing red hair before staring directly into my eyes.

"Look, I know he puts a ton of pressure on you and all, but was that really the reason you broke down in the middle of the street-"

"Yes." I interrupted, not trying to press on the mutter much further. "Tests are constantly coming up, Akabane." I spat out his dreaded name with as much venom as I could possibly muster. "You _know_ that."

He hummed quietly, nodding lightly as I put his head down- looking like he was pondering to himself for a minute as he leaned back and sighed through his nose gently.

I shuffled backwards, grumbling to myself quietly as I watched his every move intently like a hawk stalking it's prey. I bit my lower lip, feeling rather uncomfortable as the silence began surrounding me, consuming me- making me feel self-conscious and watched as my neck began to itch and my body begin to feel hotter and itchy- in the worst way possible.

I wanted him to say something, do something, anything to fill the deadly silence around me. And snide remark, any smart-mouth comment which he usually teased me with whenever he got the chance. But no- there's just  _silence._

Until.

"Asano-kun?" He spoke up softly, turning his head to look me in the eyes.

Suddenly, I felt rather cornered and trapped as I couldn't look anywhere else but  _him._

"If nothing is really wrong, and nothing is truly going on in you life.."

He paused, leaning forward slightly with intent, gazing at me.. 

" _Then what are those marks on your neck?"_

My heart dropped the the floor and my stomach flipped, my mind suddenly clouded by fear. I wasn't able to move- I wasn't able to react. My body wouldn't just allow it. I felt trapped and afraid and frightened, my legs felt solid and chained- like metal shackles were dragging me down through the floor into pitch-black nothingness. My heart began beating faster and faster- and I began to feel weak and light-headed.  _Fuck._ I clenched my fists so hard they turned  _white._   _I forgot all about the fucking bite marks on my neck._

 _Don't let yourself show. Don't break down. Don't cry, don't shake._ My mind instantly reminded me as I stared back into his powerful eyes.

___Did he know?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo.. 
> 
> How much does Karma know? Does he know at all? 
> 
> Find out in the next Chapter, hope you enjoyed this one again! c:


	5. Genuinely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu begins to feel rather pressured under the eyes of Akabane, and he begins to get angry. Then, something rather unexpected happens..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h eLLO
> 
> I am alive and well, I promise. Ahhh, I have to apologise for this chapter, I was really planning on updating two of my stories at the same time, but eehh, it didn't work out that way, and I got a tiny bit of writer's block on this paragraph for quite the while, but I pulled through it! :0 Thank god. I felt like I was gonna be stuck forever!
> 
> And thank you for all the nice comments on my last chapter~ It makes me really happy and really boosts my confidence when writing, every comment is greatly appreciated~ <3 Thank you, honestly. 
> 
> But the stories not over yet! I hope you enjoy this chapter, even if you think the ending is a little bit shitty, I'm never the best at ending chapter's most of the time.. ^^'  
> Hope you enjoy anyway~!

_Please, stop it. Stop giving me that look, stop making me feel so pressured. Stop making me feel so watched and useless as I stare back frightfully back into overpowering golden orbs, stop looking at me like that. Stop making me feel so caged and alone- like I can't fend for myself, that I'm so useless and powerless that I can't even stand up and stare back into somebody else's eyes. Please- stop it._

A large lump formed in my mouth as words couldn't form what I was feeling right now.

I began to feel what I felt a night ago,  _fear._ Like I couldn't move and my heart was beating so fast like I had been sprinting for the past hour. My body wouldn't cooperate with the thought of functioning, and forming words like anybody else would do and defy the facts, despite of how much endless amounts of  _proof_ he must have right now.

He can't not think that anything isn't happening now in my life,  _can he?_

 _I mean- there's love bites and hickeys right on my neck._ It's obvious that something significant is happening, and he's going to try and stick his nose in and see what it is, and probably  _expose_ my life in front of the entire school while everybody is in an assembly, and everybody is going to  _laugh_ at me and my fathers going to go to prison and I'll be alone and nobody's going to want to talk to me..

But still.. _They are only hickeys, and he doesn't specifically know who gave them to me, does he?_

_.. Am I going to have to make up an excuse?_

_But what excuse is there for having a group of multiple hickeys on your neck?_

I felt the rising urge to growl inside me and bash my forehead against the couches pillow, there must be something that I could say which could put him off a little- he's going to find out eventually if I don't say anything and just keep staring into his stupid mercury eyes..

_Finally, my brain in a second came up with something- it wasn't the best excuse in the world, but it could work._

".. I just-.." He seemed to blink from me talking as I tried not to stutter or tremble as I was speaking. ".. I have a girlfriend and.." I paused and tried to come up with anything else to say and add to the end of the pathetic excuse, but it was better than nothing and if he stopped  _bothering_ me and let me get the hell out of his home, I wouldn't care less what happened then. I just need to know that he is far away from me, _and is not spreading to everybody who he knows that the principal's son gets.._

_I felt the urge to scream again._

My head lifted up as I heard a quiet hum, then a nod as he let out a soft grunt and a murmur of something under his breath before closing his eyes for a few seconds, before looking at me again.

"Well, alright-y then.." He said rather hesitantly as he glanced down to my neck and viewed it once again.

_I wanted to cover my neck with my hands as his staring began to feel like it was dragging me down into the ground.._

".. But I believe that they're a little bit too big to be from a girls mouth, Asano-kun?-"

The urge to yell at him finally subsided, as the thought of letting out all my anger on him was the best thing to do right now, however stupid it sounds coming from the 'perfect Principal's Son'. H _ow fucking dare he,_ what the hell is he trying to get at now?! I told him, I told him that it wasn't anybody else but my  _'girlfriend'_ then he _should_ believe me! I fucking told him, I told him that it was  _'her_ _'_ so he shouldn't think anything fucking over wise than that! He doesn't know anything! He doesn't know what's happening to me right now, and he's trying to make it even harder for me! I'm already crawling to get out of this hell, and he's just grabbing my ankles and pulling me down even further into this hell-hole of my life! And he doesn't even know it, and he just keeps on going through life like he didn't do anything at all, of course he would think like that. Stupid care-free idiot!

Something changed on his features as me saw the visual anger on my face, how much I shook and how loudly I began growling and gritting my teeth in irritation, my fingers curling into a tight fist as I began screaming and cursing at him in my mind.

However, he didn't do anything- he didn't crawl back in horror, he didn't question what was the matter in a fake  _pure and innocent voice_ like I thought he would do. 

_No, he just stared at me and hardly bashed an eyelash at my irritation._

And that's what  _pissed me off most of all._

_He just stared._

I growled lowly under my breath, then took a deep breath in _\-- and a deep breath out._

"And what are you trying to imply,  _Akabane?"_ I spoke in a steady voice, trying to not make my words seem  _laced_ with acid as I stared back into his golden orbs with as much anger as I could muster without actually screaming it in his face out-loud.

He thought for a second, letting out a gentle humming sound as he looked away. 

"Honestly? I don't really know. But I'm just curious--"

"Curious? Curious about _what?"_ I hissed in annoyance, "you shouldn't be  _curious_ about anything. It doesn't  _concern_ you,  _nothing_ concerns you which is happening in my life.  _Nothing._ You're not even my friend- so I don't know  _why_ I'm even talking to you. I don't know why I'm in your house, and I don't know why you won't stop bothering me about  _my life,_ when you don't even know  _anything about it._ You don't know anything about  _me."_ I snarled in anger, grinding my teeth together as I glowered at him.

His shoulders sagged slightly, as he sighed under his breath and still stared at me, shutting his eyes for a second.

"I  _know_ that, Asano-kun. I _really_ know that like you wouldn't believe--" He paused for a second, biting his lip and stopping speaking as he stared down to the couch for a minute or so as I breathed rather heavily in the background as he thought and pondered to himself. I wanted to fill the silence as I opened my mouth to speak, before he pitched in again-

_or so I thought._

He slammed his mouth shut and began nibbling on his lower lip again as he let out a weird huffing noise through his noise, contemplating what to say next, it seemed.

"I know I don't know you, infact, I hardly know anything about you  _at all._ One of the general facts about you is you're a very determined and stubborn teenager- almost like me, infact. And, that's not all. There's countless things about you which I could probably name off right now which I know about you, but one of the main things also, is there you wear this irritable mask because of your dad, right? And in that roll y'gotta play, you gotta act perfect and _be_ perfect, constantly, non-stop- causing others not to see the real you behind it of course. I don't really think anybody will--" He rambled, suddenly noticing that I was beginning to  _stare_ into his very soul.

"-- and you know, I have no fucking clue what's going on in your life right now, and I could ramble on with stupid facts about you which I've picked up across time all day and night- and this could all be for nothing, but I've honestly gone of the rails here already." He laughed rather quietly to himself for a second or two as I stared dumbfounded at him.

"What I'm trying to say is," he paused for a second. "I still have a lot to learn about you. I know you might fucking hate me, but I don't really blame you sometimes, either- but I have a lot to learn about you as a person and in general, honestly. I know you're probably gonna go in a pissy rant about what the fuck is the meaning with what I'm doing right now, and what I'm saying and all that.. But in all honesty, 

He tilted his head and stared at me, and dare I say it-- with the one of the tiniest genuine smiles I've ever seen on a human being..

_"I think I want to learn more about you, Asano-kun."_

_".. If you don't mind."_


	6. Agreeing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu and Karma finally agree!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> n e v e r g o n n a g i v e y o u u p  
> hoWdY  
> I'm alive! I haven't updated this in for fucking ever, I feel awful. I literally do not have any excuse except from a case of writers block in both of my stories, however, I am brainstorming up some new ideas to use!  
> (And thank you for that one person who game me another idea. <3)
> 
> And, thankfully, I have a feeling I won't be that stuck in writers block any more with this, and I can finally continue this and my other story with ease! H o p e f u l l y.  
> I will get started on the SR Chapter as soon as possible. (Yes, I haven't started it. I apologise again, I've been really slow lately. 3)  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, even if it is a shorter, and the ending is kinda strange like I didn't completely finish it, I just wanted to post this chapter before I got to bed. 
> 
> Thank you for all the kind comments, you guys are so fucking nice legit,, i lo ve you all. <3

The words ran over themselves constantly in my mind after the seconds he said them, jumbling up and being spoken almost a thousand times, creating a dull thudding sound in my head.

_I want to learn more about you Asano-kun, I want to learn more about you Asano-kun, I want to learn more about you Asano-kun.._

I bit my tongue.

I couldn't form words- the thought of him even  _speaking to me_ about my  _own personal life_ made me feel sick. We are rivals- we are  _enemies, so why?_

Why did he help me in my time of need? He should've left m

e on the road, and later on I would've picked myself up painfully as I always did, and carried on with my day like nothing had happened and that I was fine-  _my act._ But no, he had to  _help me. He had to bring me to his house._

_He's obviously asking like he cares, right? Nobody cares about me-- nobody should care about me. I'm practically worthless. The only thing noteworthy about me is a pretty body and face, that's mostly what people remember, what people care about. They only care about I am the intelligent son of one of the most successful men in the country from a very  They don't care about what's actually happening to me at home, they all don't care about my background, they care about non of it. If I wasn't pressured so much into putting that perfect act up, and my father was nicer- I probably wouldn't of been as smart as I am. Who knows._

_Haha, who cares anyway. Not like he's ever going to get nicer anyway. He was nice for four or five years of my life when I was younger, and I remember hardly any of it. So it doesn't matter. None of it does._

I felt like letting out a dry laugh.

  _What, does he want to become my friend or something? How hilarious. How pathetic.. I don't have any real friends- what about the Virtuosos, you say? I suppose they have potential to be my 'friends'. But he won't allow any true friends, or for people to get too close to me. His lessons, drilled into my simple brain-  my brain, full of knowledge to only be used for tests, techniques for math for an easier question to go around and get full marks, poems for English and god knows what else for Science- every other countless subject I have learnt about in my lifetime, pieces, shards, chunks, heaps of information crammed into my skull, into my head, into my brain, making me a true empty shell of just work, work, work. That's my entire life. **Work.**_

_Work to be powerful, work to impress my father, work to overcome my father for years to come and that mean to get higher grades, constantly, non-stop, day in day out. Nothing more but a robot, a puppet, controlled by loose strings by **him.**_

_**I'm nothing but a puppet.** _

Staring into the floor, I let out a shaky breath I didn't realise I'd been holding until I glanced back up to the red-head, expecting him to say something else. No, he just waited patiently for a reply.

Even I didn't know if he was going to get one or not.

I gulped drily, trying to avoid eye-contact. It was strange really, I was.. so  _angry.._ but for some reason. I felt sad. I don't know why.  _I don't know why._ I wanted to scream at him, but I couldn't say anything at the same time.

_Why?_

I ground my teeth together and let out a quiet sigh which even I myself could hear. 

"..Fine,  _whatever."_ I grumbled angrily. I just wanted to leave- then I could head to School with whatever time I had left, and then just come into a class and say I had an appointment somewhere or something, and then I would never see Akabane ever again- we will never speak or mention this ever again, and I would continue on with whatever  _life_ this is.

No, there's a flaw there. A huge flaw. What happens if Akabane ever tells anybody about this incident? _What then?_ I'd be the laughing stock of the entire school. He doesn't know what the problem I have is, _luckily, and he's never going to know,_ but.. He's _still_ most likely to tell his little E-Class friends about his encounter with me anyway, how he saw the perfect Chairman's son practically _break apart_ in the middle of the street. _Why wouldn't he?_ We absolutely despise each other, and that fucking devil is always looking for some way to climb to the top and throw my ' _number one'_ title out of the window, right? Yeah. I'm  _fucked_ no matter what angle you look this situation at.  _It's my fault anyway, I probably deserve all this._

I looked up, glaring at him with every little slice of hatred I had for him-  _which was a lot._

He hummed softly, grinning ear-to-ear. I hated the sight- despite how..  _charming_ he looked at the moment. Just at the that moment though.

"Well, then." He clasped his hands together with a loud clap which almost made me jump. "That's  _good-_ uh,  _really good, actually._ You know, you're almost welcome to come round here, I suppose. I don't really mind y'know- since we're gonna be like  _friends_ now anyway."

The very word made me  _shudder_ and grimace.

I inhaled so sharply I even startled myself, then luckily avoided gritting my teeth together. ".." I didn't say anything, in fact, there was nothing  _to say_ about this. No words could even form in my head, it was just a mess of crazy, jumbled up words.

"So, want to go outside together somewhere, _friend_?" He leaned forward dangerously close, making me hiss quietly as my face heated up for the second or two as I tried to bat him away.

_I honestly, at that time, didn't know what I was getting myself into._


	7. Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gakushuu feels a new feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahhahahaha hhaHAAHAHAHA A AHAA HELLO  
> I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON THIS STORY
> 
> okay im in such a huge writers block right now with both of my stories.. i know for certain i am continuing this one, however, it not so sure about the over one because im rlly rlly confused about where im gonna go with it  
> and im p tired so im not gonna write in capitals and stuff  
> and i also didnt go over this chapter for mistakes and stuff so sorry  
> and i feel like the ending is p crappy again  
> and the summary is awful again  
> sorry
> 
> but i updated! im very very sorry for not updating both of my stories just... i actually feel awful for leaving you guys for such a long time without any insight on whats going to happen, im actually really sorry. please forgive me, you guys leave me such nice comments and stuff and i dont even update i m s o r r y
> 
> *also theres a tiny surprise at the end of the chapter if u want to slide into my dm's nah not rlly

I couldn't stop biting my lip, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't stop biting my lip or  _holding_ something.  _I missed a day off- no, that's not it. Oh, yes, maybe that fact that a practically skipped a day and didn't ring up or tell my Father._

I've never had a day off school before, ever! I need to work, study and learn constantly. Day in, day out. It's the one thing I've been taught since I was young, and I need to continue doing it- one single lesson, one single moment could make that difference of a A*, and an A.

_I don't believe I'm getting in shambles over something like this, fucking pull yourself together. I could just go in later- or as soon as possible, and say I had an accident walking to school, tripped and fell. No that wouldn't work, nobody would stay that long for a hurt knee. Oh god, I'm so screwed. What am I going to do? What am I going to say?_

"Oi, Asano-kun." I felt fingers snap themselves lightly in front of my face, then retreat back after a second. I looked up to see the devil himself, right there, in the flesh- bright red hair and daring amber eyes staring at me. 

_Oh, so none of this was a dream. Fantastic, brilliant, wonderful. Fan-fucking-tastic._

Infact, no, I gave up on my hopes that this was a dream a long time ago, minutes ago, _which now felt like years because of the damn uncomfortable silence I'm in right now._

Before I could open my mouth to reply, he hummed to himself quietly, looking up towards the ceiling and lifting up his index finger near his chin in a thoughtful matter.

"You look bored, are you bored? I think you're bored." He then clasped his hands together loudly, and as much as I wouldn't like to admit, made me jump,  _just in the slightest._

"I know what we can do!" He grinned ear to ear, his white teeth flashed as he beamed. "We can play  _video games!_ " He exclaimed,  _somewhat expecting me to yell back in joy. 'Wow, what a good idea! Instead of going to school, and facing my Father like I should, I should play games with a person that I don't even like, and I'm certain they don't even like me either, splendid, splendid!'_

No.

"No." I snapped, "I'm supposed to be at _School,_ not humouring myself with something as childish as  _video games,_ and your supposed to be in your little class as well! Don't you care, _at all?"_

 _"Mmm,_ lemme think... Not right now, no!"

_Why not? Why don't you? I'm not that important you know, move on with your life and forget about this incident, and never speak to me again. Please, I'm pathetic, **please.**_

"You.. really are an idiot.. aren't you..?" My voice seemed _quiet_ , even to me. _I sounded frail, so fucking weak and pathetic._ I made myself feel sick, and I'm surprised the contents of what I ate yesterday didn't rise to the top of my throat, my own fucking voice made me just feel.. _ill_.I managed to push through the feeling, though. "Why are you even doing this for me?! Why, damn it! It would be so much damn easier if you just forgot about this incident, we both went to school and we both went on with our lives. Yet, you intend to  _waste time on me?!_ Trying to do- whatever you're doing?!"

His beaming stopped, he didn't smile, he didn't frown and tell my to get the fuck out of his house, he just gazed at me. In shock, surprise?  _I really just couldn't tell by this point._

He tilted his head.

_Then he just.. smiled. A timid smile, like a half-smile. Why the fuck doesn't he just try and give up already._

"Asano-kun, we had a conversation like this before- or along these lines anyway.. I just wanna do something with you, you know? I don't know what you're going through right now, but it won't help to just go through the same thing everyday, studying and studying and studying.. Live a little, heck I don't even know if you're touched a game control in your entire life. Besides, it would be entertaining to me to see you try and beat me in a game of Mortal Combat, or win a game of Mario Kart on rainbow road- or.." _He rambled on and listed an entire list of games that he wanted to beat me at._

I understood, now.

He just wanted to make me feel better. He didn't even know what was happening to me, and he wanted to make me feel happy, **right?**   _He.. wow._ That's.. something. It really is. But I just.. can't shake the feeling that it means something else as well. _Most likely just me and mind._

_Well, now I didn't know what to say. Or do actually. He did just challenge me to something, right?_

My heart clenched slightly inside of my chest, and I bit my lower lip, my heart rate increased, just slightly.

Well, this was a feeling I didn't feel in quite a while..

I felt.

_Flustered- no, flattered would be the word, wouldn't it? Certainly not flustered.._

I let out a quiet sign throughout my nose and glanced to the side. 

"Fine." I muttered, "however, only for a little bit though. I want to experience what a video game is like-"

He practically leapt off the couch and threw his entire body onto the floor, pressing some buttons on the TV and the.. little black box until something lit up green. He grabbed the consoles and hummed quietly. "What you waiting for then?" He grinned at me.

I felt the urge to roll my eyes, and then quickly and quietly moved myself off the couch and onto the little shaggy rug. 

"Mind if you're getting Player 2?" He didn't even give me anytime to answer. "Okay, great!" He beamed and shoved some game into the little disc slot. I didn't catch a glimpse of what the game was, as he was dashing around, doing everything at one million miles per hour. Before I knew it, there were boals upon boals of crisps, chocolate? And other snacks on the floor.

"Do you have to put food on the floor every time you play a game?" I asked with curiosity.

"Nope, not really. Just something that I do to give me energy, you know? _Not that I need it, because you're going to get your ass beat_." He more or less cackled to himself quietly. 

_Yeah, that was a challenge._

" _Yes,_ you most likely have the most experience at playing this game, _Akabane_. However, I will not be thrown off by that." I felt an unconscious smirk raise onto my cheeks, I didn't even realise it was there until my they began hurting and then I realised.. No, it wasn't a smirk..

_A smile?_

_"Ha, sure you will!"_ He barked right back at me.

_It was gone a few seconds after._

_However, that light, fluffy fluffy feeling I felt in my chest before didn't go, no._

_It just got bigger as we played for what felt like hours on end._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u can add me on skype if u want i dont mind u asking me  
> okay its miathederp  
> I MIGHT CREATE A NEW ACCOUNT ON SKYPE THOUGH IM NOT SURE YET BECAUSE I HAVE A TON OF PEOPLE I DONT TALK TO ANYBODY ON THAT ONE AND JUST IDK WHAT TO DO LIKE
> 
> but if u wanna add me go ahead im not stoppin u
> 
> *also dont ask me about 'thederp' I WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAVY 'omg im so random' PHASE DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT

**Author's Note:**

> Yeahh..
> 
> Asano, I'm so sorry you little puddincup you don't deserve this life you sweet little angel.
> 
> Could continue?


End file.
